Just around the river bend...

As the pristine silvery water shone
I heard the steady, calming drone,
Adding to the still, untouched beauty of
This unexplored land, this lovely breeze,
All this greenery, the hum of the bees.

I looked up to the blue heavens.
The birds flew in groups of tens,
So sure of the way without a compass.
Though peaceful, this unfamiliar territory
Made me cautious, induced fear in me.

I rowed swift, causing ripples on the serenity,
A color palette stretching as far as I could see.
But is that all, I asked myself, there could be a fall -
A steep one, at that; or there could be a new land,
Far away, uncovered, hidden, newly unveiled and...

My thoughts were cut short, as the boat swirled,
Round and round, dizzily it moved and whirled.
It was a whirlpool - oh, a possibility I hadn't counted.
A magical land I'd had in mind, and some waterfall,
But not this, I hadn't expected this whirlpool at all.

Then came the waterfall I'd thought about, envisioned,
When I wasn't the least ready for it, the least cautioned,
And during the roller-coaster fall, I clung to the boat,
Closing my eyes tight, not knowing what more there'd be,
Not knowing what in my journey I'd face, what I'd see.

I opened my eyes slowly, disappointed, disorientated -
Do only my bad visions come true? My dreams unabated,
Dejected, disheartened, I rowed on, not knowing why I should.
But I did. I held on to the oars, and the currents aided me.
I know it hasn't ended, this long, though uneventful, journey.

Suddenly, before my eyes, appeared the green trees,
Swaying in the gusty wind, the sight of wild geese
Flying away, the grasses tall, a rich green, just rained upon.
The whirlpool and the waterfall were really not the end.
This magical land of my dreams had always been right there,
Just around the river bend.

Down by the river bend...

Amazing azure sky,
delightful glistening earth,
sitting by the river
dreams are slowly given birth

Stolen colors,
from the rainbow
or is it?
from the flowers
delightfully aglow?

butterflies of thoughts
run riot,
In the garden of dream castle
to the tune of the stream
flowing in mirth

Where illusion with reality meet
And the birds chirp in glee
Rakish wind , the humming bee
dances, the flowers sweet

Every time I visit,
a beautiful little dream greets
Many a happy moments I spend
down by the river bend

Reflections

The lake danced, rippled,
Before my eyes.
A pale reflection, crippled,
In a way, struck me
With a force so brutal.
A weak, scentless rose,
With every withering petal,
Scorched with her conscience.
What have you done,
Her conscience screamed.
I wasn't as weak, alone,
I wasn't so sorry, so tired,
Or for so much misery deemed.
I couldn't meet her eyes,
The Lady Conscience,
The once untouched, pure woman.

What have you done?
Her screams echoed
In the dark, silent corridors
Of my thoughts.
Somewhere along the road,
I'd killed her innocence,
Her beauty, her self-esteem,
Her virginity - all now lost.

What have you done?
What have you done to me?
What have you done to the woman
Who never begged, borrowed, stole,
Hurt, killed, tortured or feared?
The woman who played her role
With courage, dignity, emotions myriad?

Was she like this, the dainty beauty, before?
Was she so unhappy, so tormented, and more?
What have you done to the woman
Of strength, of substance, who never cried?
The woman who smiled at all odds,
A woman whose flames never died?

What have you done to the fiery beauty,
The princess, the charismatic goddess?
A woman who'd never accept failure,
A woman who'd never settle for anything less?

What happened to the furious independence,
The pride, the driving force that steered her?
What have you done to the woman so smart?
What have you done to her, Love?

Go away, Love, find your next victim!
Her weaknesses you've used,
Her loving heart you've burned.
You made her think of him,
Now make her un-think!
You've now hurt her, even abused;
The fickle world she has learned!

The lake watched, a mute spectator,
Our silent argument, her loud accusations.
I looked at her, in wordless agony.
How could I pacify, answer, satiate her?
How could I wipe away her pain, tribulations?
How could I, with all the fingers pointing at me?

You, Eros, she said with her eyes burning bright,
You've done this to her, you've killed her spirit.
She is now not alive; merely living her life!
She hadn't known you had such a poisonous bite,
You monster, you heartless creature, accept it!
You made her dream of being someone's wife;
Now she's no longer the loving girl she used to be!

She can't trust anymore; you've broken her heart,
You stole her self-worth, all her undying love!
Now here you are, you uncaring animal,
You've tortured her, part by dying part,
She no longer loves even herself now!
You've done evil things, you evil brute!

I couldn't say a word to refute.
I couldn't speak a syllable to save my skin.
She called me an uncaring animal, an evil brute,
I knew everything was true, deep within.

As her screams died, slowly, gradually,
I walked away from her, my head hung in despair.

Once again, I was accused of playing foul.
But then, I knew I tried my best.
Yet another murdered soul,
Yet another victim struck out from my list.
Yet another case of unrequited love,
Yet another storm of gloom, misery and pain.
Yet another toxic shot from my bow,
Yet another lively soul, now killed, slain.
A quiver full of arrows, all at my disposal.
A couple of misled, careless aims, a couple of broken hearts -
Broken and numb, poisoned forever.

My reflection

Furtively,
I look within
Seeking,
Something elusive

I disengage the knots
slowly with care,
Afraid to break,
This thread of love

Full of feelings,
Effusive,
Effervescent...
Thoughts that,
Ripple through my consciousness

Emotions,
palpable;
Of myriad hues
A complex labyrinth

Delving deep enough,
I find you,
sweet little girl
Like the sun,
Brightening my world

Search me, you say
Mutely I comply,
Through the twisted bends
In an unexplored corner,
I find me

My search ends,
My doubts,
my fears rescind

With a smile,
I engulf you,
As you slowly disappear,
In me.

You,
The best part of me,
You,
My reflection

But Not For Me

I watch the little child
Place her tiniest finger
Trustingly, in the mother's hand
And walk by, along with her.

I notice the woman lean,
Sway, imperceptibly, toward
The man walking beside her,
As they walk slowly, forward.

I see the old woman put,
On her son's shoulder, a hand like
A nervy, wrinkled, brown wire,
Racing past me on their bike.

Trust - sheer, immense trust,
Something so elusive, sadly.
I wish - I really wish; But I know -
It's for everyone, but not for me.

But not for me...

A wee little girl of three
Went shopping with her mummy.
Oh dear what a crowd!
All engrossed in shopping spree
got lost, she did, oh poor baby!
"Mummy Mummy!" she cried aloud

Scared she was and utterly alone
A lady saw her and came to help
Few others join and they decide
We'll find the mother of this whelp
Until then we will be by her side
As tears in her eyes, shone

They all searched helter and skelter,
Investigated every darkened nook,
Still her mom was hard to find
Everyone was out of their mind
Wondering who will give this kid a shelter
knowing not where to look

One of them had a brilliant thought
I know how to bring her mother like a moth
We can give her to the cop, he suggested
After all he can be trusted
He would know what to do
Its time to go guys, you know its true


Many of them wanted to concur
And some to differ
To them it didn't occur
They are making the kid suffer,
Due to exertion, wearied
Listlessly they queried

Tell us oh sweet dear,
how do we identify your mother
give us some description
Some mark of recognition rather
Is there something you can say?
something that would show us the way!

Suddenly happy the girl replied
The most beautiful woman of earth
is my darling mother,
Why do you find it hard to find her?
when there can be no such other!
at them saying this,hopefully she eyed

Some one suggested the mike
Announcement for a lost tyke
women who think they are beautiful
Please do come by the pool
Waiting for someone to respond
The gathered by the pond

So many beautiful women came
But none of them was that elusive dame
Is there no one who could claim
to know this baby?
The elderly man entreated
As the crowd yet again retreated

Tiredly on the bench they all slumped
When a woman tentatively approached
nondescript feature, broad nose, she was fat
In an instant the child was in her arms
covered with kisses and all smiles
Mother and child, thanked one and all,
Without any guile

However, for one question we all do hanker
Please consider this without any rancor,
Said an inconsiderate youth,
Pardon me we don't mean to be rude
Forgive us, but you are ugly
The child replied with innocent smile

But not for me,

She repeated with a twinkle in her eye

But not for me

But it rained...

Wow, I'm gonna get kissed!
But it's bright, the heat unkind -
Uh-oh, it's not what I want!
Dreams that continually haunt -
A kiss in the rain I had in mind -
Are they gonna get totally missed?

There he is, my handsome hero.
Standing beneath a cloudless sky,
We look at each other, and smile.
Our eyes devour, our hearts soar, while
We move closer, and closer, oh, my!
This is gonna be wonderful, I know!

A sunny kiss I hadn't quite visualized.
But then, a kiss, in itself, is something new.
I'd dreamed of a kiss in the pouring rain,
But it's OK, though the sun is such a pain!
The sky is such an endless, clear blue.
I wanted a downpour, in torrents, maximized!

He pulled me closer, his lips covered mine.
I could think of nothing else, but lovely him.
I'd lost all thoughts of clouds, rain and sun.
Oh, just wait, we'd give the fairy tales a run
For their money! Passion had us both limp,
With wonder, with love, emotions so fine.

Just as I was about to open my eyes,
I felt the first drop of rain on my skin.
Ye gods! It was no dream, he was no dream!
I realized the clouds aren't what they seem.
I smiled into his brown eyes, chocolaty sin.
It wasn't a smile just from the kiss so nice!

But it rained today...

I can survive,
And still jive
Though you are gone

Doesn't really matter
My heart wont shatter
What if I am alone

Let the flowers bloom
Let the birds chirp
I wont drown in gloom

Let the wind whisper
Sweet nothings,
Let the cloud flirt

The fragrance,
the lilting melody
The nightly croon

Nothing can make me miss you
Nothing can sway

But...
it rained today...

High

Way, way up high,
Above the ground,
Behind the clouds,
Life is just to happy,
Love is just too good.

There is no goodbye,
Joy knows no bounds,
Everyone is ever loved;
As far as one can see,
All are ever understood.

Way, way up high,
Far above the ground,
All are high on true love;
Untrue, this fact may be -
But, forever hope, I would;
Just hope, I always would.

High

Soar high. higher even more
The sky is urs to conquer
Do not look down
Look upon the stars

Its your day today
Time to prove your mettle
Wait not for anyone else
Am here looking out for you


The path is not smooth
Wind plays tricks with you
So does the burning sun
Do not rest your wings yet


Its just half way through
Nay, do not ever think of quitting
Its you who is leading
Am here to bask in glory
Of your first victory

Oh there you are so near to the finish line
Dancing all the way, reveling in your skills
Oh aren't you enjoying it now?
Oh why did you look down ?
And you come reeling ... Crashed!

Oh my baby, What did I do
Now You are so high.. higher than high
And I can never reach you even if i try
I wanted you to win the race
I wanted you to be an ace
But I never ever wanted you to die.....

Sacrifice

We've picked out a date for us to wed,
We've picked out the perfect king-size bed.
He has chosen the rings for us to wear,
I've chosen the flowers for my hair.
Is it worth the sacrifice,
So we can wake up to each other's face
For every morning, every sunrise?

We've selected the most wonderful church,
After a sincere, elaborate, complete search.
I've taken great pains to choose the perfect gown,
So we're probably the best-looking couple in town.
Is it worth the sacrifice,
Both of us giving up our single status
For a commitment till one of us dies?

Now I'm walking with my father down the aisle,
Feeling the short distance seem like an entire mile.
The groom turns and looks at me - my darling Lyle,
And his face breaks into a radiant, glowing smile.
Oh, it isn't even a sacrifice,
Giving up loneliness, sadness and misery,
For a life full of joy and love for him and me.

Sacrifice

He had stars in his eyes
He didnt see her sighs
He wanted to go to the war
Martyr to the country
Brought in his eyes, stars

Trepidated, duty torn
She tries to make him stay
All he mustered was a scorn
For his mother forlorn
Amidst the cheer of hoarding crowd
He walked away..

She knows he may never return
Feigning smile,As her heart yearns
Hiding fears and concern
There she boldly stands
Gaily Waving her hands

Rivers of blood does flow,In country woebegone
Some will rejoice, while others mourn
Innocence lost, will leave a mark
On him; the truth stark.
Beholden to war mongering sharks

months pass by, war never ends
But sooner or later they do send
His mortal remains
He died as a soldier brave
But would it give solace ?
For the lady by his grave

Not a single tear did she shed
For her son,the dead.
Posthumous they gave her the plaque
With words ostentatious and fake
To hold in his wake

Not a single tear did she shed
For the child she raised and fed
Tears of heart, frozen as ice
This was her sacrifice
For sins of her fellow beings,
she paid the price!

Vertigo

A black pool of nothingness,
Complete, boundless darkness.
The whirlpool swirls swiftly,
And sucks me in, deeply, slowly,
Tormenting me, frightening me.

I let out a cry of unadulterated fear,
But the sound doesn't reach anyone's ear.
I scream until my throat becomes sore,
But I know this isn't the end - there's more,
More of this torture, more of pain and gore.

Precariously shifting, dangerously swaying -
Just where is the ground beneath my feet going?
I search frantically for some hope, some light.
I panic, thinking of my situation, my scary plight.
I'm falling, I'm falling into the pitch black night.

As I slip away through the bottomless tunnel,
My confused and scattered thoughts I try to channel.
No hope anywhere - no one to hold me close,
Protect me from this torment, share my woes.
I may be lost forever in this black hole, there's nothing to lose!

My head is reeling, rapidly picking up pace.
With trembling hands, I try to cover my face.
Faster, faster, the world seems to shrink around me.
Where is sunlight? The sun is no longer to be seen!
Why am I the one to suffer? What could this be?

Consciousness comes flooding back, gushing into my head,
Bringing a physical ache so intense, I'm almost dead;
Bringing the memories of real life, reality, all afresh and anew;
I wince ever so slightly, for my worldly worries aren't few.
It's not just black surrounding me anymore, there are other hues!

I blink once, I blink twice. My vision gradually clears.
I wash my face with cold water, washing away my fears
Of death, of life, of everything fearful. A few helping hands
Have just steadied me. I'm back, from the nightmare-lands,
After rushing in and out through the black desert's sands

Vertigo

Spinning round and round
Lost,Cannot be found
Embracing darkness
Comfort in its starkness
Unheeded vanity
Edge of insanity
Sojourn where delusions abound
Experiencing the caligo
Caught in a vertigo
Anchoraged to ground

The Struggle Within

I was moving so slowly,
So weak. Afraid of getting lost,
Afraid of dying. I made my way
Through life, just eating most
Of whatever came before me.

I wondered at the purpose
Of the birth and life of my ugly self,
Walking on a million legs, slowly.
Oh, why wasn't I the dolphin which delved
Into the ocean or the bird which cooed away?

When I saw all the holes I had made
On all the leaves, I thought desolately
I was just of no use. I'd shrunk into myself
In hopelessness and dismay, deliberately.
I was dying slowly within, wishing I wasn't me.

I cocooned myself in my misery,
Erecting a silky, but strong barrier
Between me and the world. I cried
In the dark, never having left sorrier
For being a useless, silly little worm.

I struggled inside my cozy cocoon;
Changes aren't always for the best,
And changes frightened me too much.
I couldn't think that everything was just a test
To my patience, hope and all other virtues.

The cocoon protected me from the world,
But it proved not useful against my inhibitions.
I put myself down, I wished I could die.
My life seemed to be a poor image, with distortions,
Many and varied. I blamed and pitied myself.

Too suddenly, the biggest change happened.
I was forced to lose my only protection, the cocoon.
I shut my eyes tight, fearing the world's scorn,
Afraid of facing the dangerous world so, so soon.
I was going to fall, deep down and disappear...

But I didn't. I opened my eyes, slowly, softly,
Scared to wish, afraid of hoping, believing.
I was flying! This must be just another dream!
I could fly, free, unafraid - oh, what a feeling!
I'd never felt that way before, never in my life.

I'm lonely no more! I'm ugly no more,
I'm not unwanted, unloved, unimportant -
Not ever. I could kiss the beautiful flowers,
I could hug the sky. I have all I could want!
I could even caress the people, and kiss the sun!

I have wished I was born as the dolphin.
But a dolphin couldn't fly, or hide behind the clouds!
I have wished I was created as a bird.
But birds couldn't sit on a flower daintily, or be proud
Of wings that were like God's own color palette!

I wonder at the purpose of my life no more.
All the misery, and the endless struggles within,
All the welling unhappiness - they seem meaningless
No more. All my sorrow, all the pain I'd been in
Had been only to make me the butterfly I'm today.

The Struggle Within

As the silver moon shines
The world bides time
Hidden rage bursts in seams
Bloodshot eyes in the darkness gleams
A battle of will,A desire to kill
The call of the nature
My life's bane!
Jostling on the edge
The man and the beast
Trying to resist
The animal that is me
I feel the scent,I am on prowl
I transform,I let out the howl
hunch back, furry, wild and free!
Regret I will, the beast I have been
The original sin
The purpetual struggle
The struggle within

The Sweetest Things

I saw the beautiful blue dress
In soft, silky, lovely georgette.
You wouldn't even begin to guess -
This isn't what I want from you.

Remember those beautiful days
When you pulled at my pigtails,
Laughed at me, made little faces
At me, and cried when I cried?

Remember the days when you
Stood up to Mom for my sake?
Remember those days when the two
Of us were like two peas in a pod?

Remember the days when you
Showed me off as you cute little sister?
Almost got into a broil with some guy who
Hit on me, and protected me from all harm?

Do you remember how we both
Stuck together through all odds?
Remember how much you loathed
My school excursions separating us?

I do not want the blue georgette dress.
I do not want your money, or your material gifts.
Though I accept them with a smile, I confess
They are not what I want from you.

I only want you, my loving brother,
I want to be close to you, your friend
Again, your "little sister". Just don't bother,
If you can't give me all these sweetest things.

Sweetest things!

First shower of rain
After a long drought
New shoot of foliage
After tempestous carnage

First flight of dove
Freedom atlast
First song of cuckoo
The glittering morning dew

Heaven of lovers kiss
After waiting abyss
Beauty of rising sun
After dark night is done

Sweetest things in life
for a short time caught
Sweetest things in life
With pain is fraught

The Black Knight

The black knight rides fast
On a shining black stallion,
His black cape flashing, dark,
His cloak sprinkled with diamonds.

He looks into the maiden's face,
So fair. His diamonds are for her,
Her best friends. He fights the demons
Of her dreams - her valiant protector.

When all the world is tired, asleep,
The knight stays awake, his dark eyes
Alert, watching. He's with her, for her,
Loving her, holding her, till sunrise.

Morning is nigh, the night draws
To a close. Before the sun lights,
The moon maiden elopes, with her love,
The brave, black knight of the night

The Black knight

Black mane, black coat
Darkness capote
Reaching for the stars

Galloping like a lightening
The rider of the storm
It is so frightening

This creature of wild
Cantering, so mild
Has me beguiled

Dangers dared
With hooves in the air
This wonderful steed

Beautiful, black as night
By the soldiers side all through the fight
Behold the horse, behold Black knight

Surprise

A surprise -
At sunrise,
We rise.
Orange sky;
Birds fly;
We sigh.
Roaring sea,
Foaming, free -
Gleeful we.
Nature's kiss,
Pure bliss.
We miss
Timeless moments,
Priceless incidents,
The monuments
We made.
Worries fade -
Memories cascade.
Nature's prize,
Beautiful surprise -
Hopes rise.
New days,
New rays -
Joy stays.
The gift -
Surprising lift
Of spirits.

Surprise

strong winds blows
memories n dreams juxtapose
Why arent you here
I miss you so much dear

As I sat writing you a letter
the pages went helter-skelter
and you appear just out of dreams
Beautiful again, the world seems

Oh what a wonderful surprise
Are you real
My imagination I surmise
my effervesant scream

Not a single word you utter
Encompass me in your embrace
and slowly tilt my face
Me, waiting for a kiss, feelings aflutter

Never knew love can be fatal
Lovers embrace so lethal
sacrificed on atlar of greed
By my lover
A nice surprise indeed!